Work

Does anyone like their job? I mean, really!

The thing is that I have had some really shitty jobs in my day. I have cleaned the gas station toilets in meth-ridden Cedar Hill only to have to spend the rest of my shift meticulously counting individual packs of cigarettes, scraping dirty ice off of filthy fuel pumps in the dead of winter and trying to repair the drive-thru car wash only to be left soaking wet and smelly waiting on a long line of alcoholics who have been anxiously awaiting 6:00 am so that I would unlock the liquor cases.

I have managed at a lower class (read cheap) buffet restaurant in an area where being white makes you a minority. I made stew in a pot large enough to hold me (don't think I did not consider jumping in), learned that every side dish was made using only a packet of powder and "2 quarts of hot water" and quit when a tree branch came through a window and everyone left. I mean everyone. I was left with a broom. In the dark. Alone.

And, of course, there is the infamous toilet paper stocking incident of 2004. What else can I really say about that? For 8 hours a day I faced shelves of toilet paper and listened to my coworkers talk about how hung over they were. I wanted to suffocate myself with the toilet paper.

Who can forget serving? Waiting to get cut, running until you think you might pass out, sneaking homemade croutons from the bin, eating soup so quickly that it burns your mouth, forgetting to ring in appetizers, bring drinks, bring the check. Ha. I was no good at that.

I did a stint working overnights at a drug store. Those are fuzzy memories, clouded by singing fish, dancing gophers, lots of stolen candy and long walks home in the early morning mist. Trust me when I say that it sounds more pleasant than it is.

The point is this: I have it easy now and I still hate my job. I go to work in what could easily be classified as pajamas, I never wear my shoes, I listen to white house press conferences and lazily answer customer emails. I do not even have to talk to them. Really, I do not have to talk to anyone. I use AIM and blog (haha) and, until recently, I played on MySpace. And I hate it. I dread coming in, the evenings drag and I do only what is required of me.

I wonder what job I would like? I would imagine it would have to involve a lot of sleeping.